I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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