I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
