Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
