So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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