She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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