When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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