Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
