he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
