O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
