Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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