I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
