32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
