if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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