Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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