i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
