he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
