I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
