How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
