Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
