how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
