I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
