in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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