I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
