Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I need a burrito and a hug.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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