so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
