you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
