you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
