I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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