yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
