I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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