Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
