Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
