She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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