Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
