Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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