she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
