we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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