I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wish there were birth control emojis
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i out mim tonsoeep
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