12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
