did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
