oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
