I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
this is an emotional support booty call
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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