Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
