I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
