white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
