It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
