Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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