Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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