woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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