this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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