i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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