There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
